I heard a song on the radio the other day and it stuck in my head. When I found myself humming it to Little Man as I rocked him tonight, I wrote him a letter in my head.
I Could Not Ask for More Lyrics by Edwin McCain
Lying here with you
Listening to the rain
Little Man, I complain when you wake me up at night. But really, I never mind getting up with you. What greater gift can I give than to give comfort to you when you wake up alone and scared?
Smiling just to see the smile upon your face
Your sense of humor is developing...you have favorite parts of movies that always make you laugh, and sometimes you crack yourself up for no reason that your dad and I can see, and that makes us crack up, too.
These are the moments I thank God that I'm alive
These are the moments I'll remember all my life
I found all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more
I don't have a lot of time to myself. When I start to get bogged down and feel overwhelmed with motherhood and how much you need me, I remember that it won't always be like this--I won't be your world forever, so now is the time to sit and cuddle with you when you ask, even though I've seen the particular episode of "Mickey Mouse Clubhouse" you're watching approximately 6,835 times. This week.
Looking in your eyes
Seeing all I need
Everything you are is everything to me
I don't need a fancy job, a title, a paycheck. If what I am best at is being your mother, I am more wealthy then I ever imagined.
These are the moments
I know heaven must exist
There are moments that choke me up, and they are never the big ones...sure, I got weepy when you took your first step. But sometimes you do things that seem so insubstantial--like wave bye-bye to Pooh Bear at the end of the movie, or impulsively lean down and kiss your stuffed bunny before I take you out of your crib for the morning--and I am moved in a way I can't describe. Heaven must be made up of moments like that.
These are the moments I know all I need is this
I have all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more
I could not ask for more than this time together
I could not ask for more than this time with you
Is there a better way to spend a sunny day than poking mud with you? Than reading books with you? Than watching you learn in leaps and bounds every minute? The answer is no.
Every prayer has been answered
Every dream I have's come true
And right here in this moment is right where I'm meant to be
Here with you here with me
You have really taught me to live in the moment. You don't understand what the future is. You don't know what "tomorrow" means yet. It can be frustrating, like when I'm trying to reassure you that we will indeed come back to the playground, and you're crying hysterically because you're having so much fun RIGHT NOW. But it can also be wonderful, like when you stop to notice a ladybug crawling on a leaf and all other things in life are forgotten, and you pull me down next to you to show me--because you're so excited to share this wonderful thing you just encountered with me. Whenever you take my hand to show me something you found or discovered, it's like an invitation to a party from the coolest kid in school.
These are the moments I thank God that I'm alive
These are the moments I'll remember all my life
I've got all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more
Sometimes you do funny things--you like to spin in circles, get into goofy baby yoga positions, and randomly blow raspberries at me. Sometimes you act like a miniature grown-up--you sit in your booster seat and read a magazine, hold your spoon the right way to feed yourself yogurt even though no one ever really showed you how, and when we're eating out and the waiter asks "what will you folks be having tonight?" you answer him in your baby babble talk like he was talking to you the whole time. I hope I always remember the little things you do.
I could not ask for more than the love you give me 'Coz it's all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more
I could not ask for more
I've changed a lot of diapers in my day, kid. I've loved a lot of babies. And I've always waited for the day when I had my own. I saved things just for you, lullabies I never sang other children, stories I held in my head just for my own. What I have for you is more than love. My heart walks outside my body now, in the form of one curly-haired, deep-thinking, giggly, goofball little man. And I could not ask for more.
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