I Hold These Truths to be Self-Evident, Volume Two

As the mother of a 6-month old boy, I hold these truths to be self-evident:

--Drool happens.

--You will get peed on.

--When sitting in the highchair and playing with a toy, the toy will eventually be dropped over the side that is the furthest away from you.

--Taking an item away is the best way to make said item desirable.

--The most fascinating toy in the house is the remote control. FYI, this is a truth whether your son is 6 months or sixty.

--You will do laundry. Lots and lots of laundry. You have no idea how much laundry you'll do.

--You will begin to add "-ums" to the end of everything: "it's time for lunch-ums! What are we having today? Squash-ums!"

--Hair is no longer a beauty accessory for you. It is a mobile that hangs off your head for your baby.

--You will treasure every single moment of sleep you can get. Some days, you will get a lot of sleep. Do not let this lull you in a false sense of security that the baby is finally on a pattern. It will change. Enjoy it while you have it.

--The biggest compliment you can receive is not about an outfit, your hair, or a raise at work. It is "what a beautiful baby!"

--When your baby tries to make eye contact with someone at the grocery store, smiles at them, and gets ignored, you will have the incredible urge to punch the person.

--You will have discovered that your heart no longer beats inside your chest--it now resides on the outside, in the form of giggles, teeny tiny toes and fingers, and baby kisses. Be good to your heart.