Always Be Prepared...

There is a lot to think about when you're expecting a new baby in the house. Not only do you have to arm yourself with all the gear a baby needs, but you have to know how to use the gear and--more importantly--what to do when the gear ceases to work and the baby is STILL crying.

I had no doubt that my husband was going to handle above-mentioned situations just fine--he tends to be pretty unflappable. But he received a couple of things at our showers that now have me absolutely sure.

The first, given to him by a colleague who has worked with him enough to understand how his brain works, is a box set called "The Baby's Owner's Manual: Operating Instructions, Trouble-Shooting Tips and Advice on First-Year Maintenance", and includes a book, a handy fill-in-the-blank notepad for caregivers, magnets and a growth chart. The book is the real gem of this set, and reads like a car manual of baby instructions. Some of my favorite pearls of wisdom include:

• The first chapter, entitled "Preparation and Home Installation" starts out by saying, "please inspect your model carefully and check for all standard parts described previously. If any parts appear to be missing or inoperational, it is recommended that you consult the baby's service provider immediately." It also offers tips on "selecting and installing a pacifier".


• Chapter three is called "Feeding: Understanding the Baby's Power Supply", and there is much discussion on programming the feeding schedule and dealing with "input" and "output".


• In "Programming Sleep Mode", chapter four, there are diagrams on configuring sleep space and using sleep mode outside the nursery.


• "Tracking Motor and Sensory Applications" is a topic in chapter 6, "Growth and Development".

The best thing about this book is that it is truly practical--both of us have read it cover to cover already, and I actually found its section on breastfeeding particularly helpful: "The baby comes pre-programmed to begin breastfeeding almost immediately. The baby owner, however, requires additional training." The writing is very straight forward. I also enjoyed the footnote at the very beginning of the section: "the breasts of the male parent are not compatible with the food intake system...we recommend you review this information very carefully and transfer the manual to the female parent for review."

The second gift designed especially for the Man of the House came from my Godmother. In a box addressed solely to him, Husband found a tool belt stuffed full of tools--but not the kind to fix a leaky faucet. Instead, he found baby survival tools, all practical and most hysterical:

• Diapers and wipes


• A poncho for unexpected diaper changing showers


• A baggie with a pacifier (to plug the baby up) and ear plugs for him (if the baby plug fails)


• A bag of Swedish Fish (his favorite) and a Red Bull, because Daddy-energy has to be kept up at all times


• Tongs for toxic diaper removal


• A turkey baster, to be used to shine up baby's tushie


• Rubber gloves, face masks and protective eye wear


• A hazardous waste sign


• Baby-occupying rattles and bib


• "Be Prepared"-- a book designed for new Dads

We plan to hang the tool belt on the side of the changing table, where it will be easily accessed and all accouterments put to good use.