I expected a lot of changes when I became pregnant...and I know there will be no shortage of changes once he arrived. But something that has surprised me recently is how this baby is making me, well, grow up.
I think I've always been fairly mature. I never really rebelled when I was young, and I had a four month stint in college when I "sowed my wild oats"--although my friends used to tease me that I was only sowing one oat, because even my wildest adventures were tame compared to what they did. I was happy to settle down at 21, marry at 24, and get pregnant at 26. Calm, married life suits me just fine.
My husband has been mature his entire life, probably since the day he was born. He is totally a grown up. I can't imagine little toddler husband throwing a temper tantrum because he couldn't have a piece of candy. What I can imagine is him negotiating for the candy, and winning--either because the adult he was bargaining with was overcome with his toddler negotiating skills, or because he used words the adult did not understand.
Now, by mature, I do not mean "boring". We do fun things, and we have our little quirks--husband likes his video games, my favorite thing to do when I'm bored is look at the pictures of hotels on the Disney website. I read the Harry Potter books, he liked the GI Joe movie that came out last year. And I don't mean that either of us will be giving up those things now that the baby is coming--I have just noticed that some of the choices I make are not the same ones I would have made if it were going to be just the two of us for the next foreseeable future.
The smallest example is that I am backing my car into parking spaces. I hate backing up my car. I hit things. The car ends up crooked and I get made fun of. So if the car needed to be backed in, I would hand my husband the car keys and he would do it, easily and with far less curse words than me (he was probably the best at backing up his power wheels on the playground, too). But then I thought, what is it going to say to my kid if mommy can't back up her own vehicle? So I have started practicing now, because I don't want to expose my son to the 20 minute ordeal that usually occurs when I try to back up. I have done it several times without hitting a single thing. Of course, I haven't tried it with anyone watching or riding with me, because we all know that complicates things. The fact that I can back up my own car says I am growing up a little.
Then there's the spring cleaning attack I am about to launch on our apartment. I am the first to admit that I am a pack rat. I keep EVERYTHING. Ticket stubs, programs, photographs, old letters, school papers, magazines...you name it, I have it. With each move I have made with my husband, I have skimmed a little off the top. But now, even though we are in a two bedroom, two bathroom apartment, I look around at all the stuff and realize there is simply not going to be room for the baby. And if there's not room for him, then there's certainly not going to be room for all the stuff that comes with a baby. So it's time to purge, and not just the little mini purges I have done in the past. It's time for a major, throw it away/sell it/donate it purge to happen. The fact that I can say this without breaking into hives says that I am growing up quite a bit.
And lastly, a week ago I was perusing the previously mentioned Disney website and saw that my favorite band OF ALL TIME EVER would be performing at a Disney theme park in the fall. Disney is my most favorite place in the world, and I have been following this particular band for fourteen years. My cousin and I once saw them perform one night in one city, then drove all night to a city several states away to see them perform again the next night. I've never missed a show that was performed in my town (or most of the neighboring states). Some would call me a groupie...I prefer loyal. The thought of this band being in this place was enough to overwhelm me to the point that I had to get up and get a drink of water.
But did I seriously think of planning a trip to the happiest place on earth? No. Why? Because I'll have a barely three month old at the time. And alas, even for the baby of their biggest fan, it will be too early for a first rock concert. If there was no baby in my future? I would have already had a ticket booked. The fact that, while slightly disappointed, I was not terribly concerned with missing this concert says that I am incredibly grown up, probably the most grown up I will ever become. Because even though I may hit things with my car, have to get rid of a lot of stuff, and miss what is my version of the ultimate concert experience, it is more than worth it every time I feel that baby boy kick--so I can only imagine what it will be like when he gets here.
No comments:
Post a Comment